Feelings, Friendships and Wellbeing

A feeling, or emotion, is something you experience inside. Everyone has feelings, including adults. You can learn words that help you share yours.

Find a word that fits

Start with happy, sad, angry, scared, surprised, or disgusted. Then ask, “What happened? What did I hope would happen?” A closer word can help someone understand you.

Maya practiced spelling all week and hoped to do well. She got 6 out of 10. She feels disappointed because her result was not what she hoped for. If her homework kept tearing, she might feel frustrated instead.

Here are more useful words:

• Proud: pleased about something you did.
• Grateful: thankful for something or someone.
• Embarrassed: uncomfortable because you feel noticed after a mistake.
• Jealous: upset because someone has something you want.
• Lonely: missing company or a feeling of connection.
• Guilty: upset because you think you did something wrong.

You can also feel calm, excited, hopeful, confused, nervous, or worried.

How big is it?

Rate a feeling from 1, tiny, to 5, huge. “Annoyed,” “angry,” and “furious” can show anger growing stronger. A small feeling might need a quick fix. For a huge feeling, calm your body before working out the problem.

You can have mixed feelings. Starting a new school might feel exciting and scary together. You do not have to pick just one.

Feelings and actions

Every feeling is OK. Some feel comfortable; others feel uncomfortable. Fear can warn you to be careful. Sadness can show that something matters. Anger can point to something that seems unfair.

What you do next still matters. You may feel angry about a broken toy. Hitting someone is not OK. You can put the toy down and ask for help.

Feelings change. Naming one can make it easier to handle. Try saying, writing, or drawing “I feel nervous.” Pretending you feel fine can make it harder for someone to know you need support.

Your body can show a feeling before you find its name. These signals are called body clues. Learning yours gives you time to choose what to do.

Spot your clues

Anger can bring a hot face, tight fists, or a clenched jaw. Worry can bring fluttery feelings in your tummy, sweaty hands, or a racing heart. Sadness can bring tears or a heavy feeling. When you feel calm, your muscles may feel loose.

Your clues may differ from a friend's. A fast heartbeat can also follow running. Think about what happened as well as what your body feels.

Try a body scan. Sit still and slowly notice your head, shoulders, tummy, hands, legs, and feet. Ask, “What do I feel here?” You might notice tight shoulders before reading aloud.

Your body's alarm

Your brain has an alarm that helps protect you. When it senses danger or a big challenge, it sends signals through your body. A chemical called adrenaline helps get your body ready. Your heart and breathing speed up. Your muscles tense.

The alarm can prepare you for:

• Fight: standing up to danger.
• Flight: getting away from danger.
• Freeze: becoming very still.

This is the fight, flight, or freeze response. It helps you react quickly, such as jumping back from a speeding bike. It is not an instruction to fight someone.

The alarm can also ring before a safe challenge, like a spelling test. Your heart may pound even though the test cannot hurt you. When feelings are huge, thinking clearly gets harder. Calming your body helps you make choices again.

Catch the feeling early

Leo's team is losing a game. First his fists tighten. Then his face gets hot. He notices the clues and takes three slow breaths. He has time to pause before saying something hurtful.

Stress is your body and mind's response to something hard or overwhelming. A little can help you focus. Stress that lasts can leave you tired, grumpy, or achy. Tell a trusted adult about pain or stress that keeps coming back. If someone threatens you or makes you unsafe, move toward safety and get adult help.

A trigger is something that sets off a strong feeling. Losing a game, a loud sound, being left out, or a sudden change can be triggers. A thought can be a trigger too.

Follow the chain

Something happens. You have a thought about it. That thought affects your feeling and your next action.

Imagine your friend walks past without saying hello:

1. You think, “She is ignoring me.”
2. You feel hurt.
3. You stay away from her.

Now try a different thought: “Maybe she did not see me.” You might feel less hurt and call out hello. You still need to find out what happened. Your first thought was a guess.

Two people can feel differently about the same event. One child enjoys a thunderstorm's sounds. Another feels scared. Their thoughts and experiences help shape their feelings.

Ask what you need

Your body's needs matter too. Hunger, thirst, tiredness, and too much noise can make feelings harder to handle. Ask, “Do I need food, water, rest, or a break?”

A feeling can point toward another need:

• Lonely: “I need company.”
• Frustrated: “I need help or a break.”
• Scared: “I need to feel safe.”
• Angry: “Something seems unfair.”

Then choose an action that helps. If you feel lonely, you could ask to join a game. If a task feels too hard, you could ask someone to show the first step.

Make a plan for a trigger

Sam knows he gets angry when people interrupt him. Before group work, he plans to pause and say, “Can I finish my idea, please?” Knowing his trigger helps him get ready.

Think about the size of the problem as well. A broken pencil needs a new pencil or a sharpener. Someone getting hurt needs adult help. A big feeling about a small problem is a signal to calm down before choosing an action.

Other people sometimes do something wrong. That can explain your anger, but it does not make hitting OK. Try “I felt angry when he took my pencil.” You can then choose words, a break, or help.

Empathy means trying to understand another person's feelings and caring about them. You can show empathy even when you would feel differently.

Put the clues together

Notice the person's face, body, voice, and words. Think about what just happened too. A frown or quiet voice alone can mean several things.

At recess, Ava sits alone with her shoulders down. She looks at the ground. Earlier, she was not chosen for the class play. Those clues suggest she might feel sad or disappointed.

You cannot see inside her mind. Check gently: “You seem quiet. Are you OK?” She might want to talk about the play, or she might tell you something else.

Listen before helping

Let Ava finish speaking. You could say, “That sounds disappointing.” Then offer a choice: “Would you like to play, or would you like some space?” Listen to her answer. An offer helps most when it fits what the person wants.

Some people laugh when embarrassed. Others say “I'm fine” before they are ready to share. You can stay kind without pushing them to tell you everything.

Your feelings do not have to match theirs. You might love roller coasters while your friend feels scared. Saying “That's silly” does not help your friend feel understood. You can say, “I know it feels scary to you.”

If you notice someone being hurt or left out, empathy can help you act. You could invite them to sit with you or find an adult who can help.

A coping strategy is a healthy way to handle a feeling or problem. Calming tools help turn your body's alarm down so you can think more clearly.

Breathe gently

Breathe in slowly through your nose. Breathe out gently through your mouth, a little more slowly. Picture smelling a flower, then gently blowing out a candle.

For box breathing, trace a square with your finger:

1. Breathe in for a count of 4.
2. Hold for 4.
3. Breathe out for 4.
4. Hold for 4.

Repeat the square three or four times if comfortable. Keep your breathing gentle. If you feel dizzy, stop and breathe normally. You can choose ordinary slow breaths instead.

Bring your attention back to now

Grounding means noticing your surroundings when a worry takes over. For the 5-4-3-2-1 game, notice:

• 5 things you can see.
• 4 things you can safely touch.
• 3 things you can hear.
• 2 things you can smell from where you are.
• 1 taste already in your mouth.

That is 15 things altogether. You do not need to taste an object or hunt for a smell. If you cannot notice one sense, notice another sight or touch instead.

Mindfulness means gently paying attention to now, without judging what you notice. Listen for a quiet sound or notice a breath. When your mind wanders, bring your attention back. Meditation is time you set aside to practice this attention. You can start with a minute or two.

Choose a tool for the place

Moving can help your body settle. At recess, you could walk, jump, dance, or stretch. You could also squeeze a soft ball, draw quietly, listen to calm music, or picture a favorite peaceful place.

Mia feels frustrated after math. At recess she does 20 jumping jacks and notices her shoulders loosening. During class, she could choose quiet breathing instead.

Try tools while you feel calm so you know how they work. Start when you first notice tight muscles or fast breathing. Waiting until a feeling is huge can make it harder to begin.

Self-talk is what you say to yourself in your head. You might think, “I can try again,” or “I always mess up.” Those thoughts can change how you feel and what you do next.

Check a harsh thought

A thought can feel true without being a fact. “Everyone will laugh at me” is a guess about the future. Ask:

• “What do I know that supports this thought?”
• “What else could happen?”
• “What would I say to a friend?”

Jake misses a shot and thinks, “I'm the worst player ever.” He checks what he knows. He scored last week. His coach praised his passing. One missed shot does not describe all his playing.

He chooses, “I missed this one. I'll practice and try again.” The new thought is both kind and true.

Spot a thinking trap

A thinking trap is a way of thinking that can mislead you. Watch for these patterns:

• All-or-nothing thinking: “I never get anything right.” One mistake turns into “everything.”
• Fortune-telling: “Tomorrow will go terribly.” A guess becomes a sure result.
• Mind-reading: “They think I'm weird.” You decide you know another person's thoughts.
• Name-calling yourself: “I'm stupid.” A hard task becomes an unkind label.

Helpful thoughts do not need to promise success. “I'll get every answer right” may sound cheerful, but you cannot know that. “I've practiced, and I'll do my best” gives you a useful next step.

Remember your strengths

A strength can be a skill or a good quality. You might be creative, patient, kind, funny, or a good listener. Remembering strengths helps build self-esteem, which means valuing yourself.

Notice your own progress: “I can swim farther than last summer.” Someone else's speed does not erase what you learned.

A short phrase, such as “One step at a time,” can help in hard moments. Keep it on a card in your pencil case.

Some problems can be changed. Some things, like rain or a past mistake, cannot. You can work on a changeable problem and use comfort or support for what you cannot change.

Solve a problem in six steps

1. Calm down. Give yourself room to think.
2. Name the problem. Say what needs to change.
3. Think of ideas. Look for more than one possible action.
4. Compare what could happen. Think about safety and who each idea helps.
5. Choose one and try it.
6. Check the result. Try another idea or ask for help if needed.

Priya leaves her lunch at home. She takes a slow breath. Her problem is, “I have no lunch, and I'm hungry.” She could skip lunch or tell her teacher. Skipping would leave her hungry. A teacher can help her find food.

She tells her teacher, who calls home. Her dad brings lunch. Priya checks: she now has food, so this plan worked. If nobody could bring it, she and her teacher would need another plan.

Match the tool to the need

For huge anger, settle your body first. For a task you do not understand, ask for help. For loneliness, try reaching out. In class, quiet breathing fits better than running around the room.

Healthy coping helps without hurting you or someone else. Hitting, insulting people, or breaking things can create more problems. Keeping every feeling hidden can also leave you without support.

Drawing or playing can give you a useful break. After you settle, return to a problem that still needs attention. Spending hours on a screen to avoid the problem leaves it waiting.

Make a small toolkit

Write down your triggers, three to five tools you like, and people you can talk to. Keep the plan somewhere easy to find. For example: “When group work feels too noisy, I'll breathe, ask for a quiet minute, or tell my teacher.”

Talking belongs in your toolkit too. Another person can listen and help you think of an idea you missed.

Worry is an uneasy feeling about something that might happen. It often begins with “What if?” A little worry can remind you to prepare. A worry that keeps returning or stops you sleeping or joining in needs support.

Sort what you can control

Draw a circle of control. Inside, put choices you can make. Outside, put things you cannot choose.

Noah worries about tomorrow's math test. Inside his circle are reviewing for 15 minutes, going to bed on time, and asking a question. Outside are the exact questions on the test. He makes a plan for the inside choices. Then he uses slow breathing for the worry that remains.

Break big jobs into small steps. For a book report, choose a book first. Then plan reading, notes, and writing on separate days. A clear first step is easier to begin.

Check a “what if” thought

Ask what the worst, best, and most likely results could be. How likely is the worst result? What could you do if it happened?

If you worry about sitting alone at lunch, you could ask to join a table. You could also speak to the lunch supervisor. A plan gives you something useful to do without promising that everything will go perfectly.

When worries keep interrupting your day, write them down. Arrange about 10 minutes of worry time with a trusted adult later. You can look at them together. Tell an adult right away about anything unsafe.

Practice safe things in small steps

Always avoiding a safe activity can keep the worry going. With support, try a small step first. For speaking in class, you could answer in a small group. Later, try one sentence to the class. Build up as you get used to it.

This practice is for safe challenges. If someone threatens or hurts you, get adult help.

Worry can come with a tight tummy, fast heart, or restless feeling. Tell an adult about aches too; there can be different causes. Sharing the worry helps you choose a tool and get support.

Anger often shows up when something seems unfair or someone gets hurt. It tells you there may be a problem to deal with. Feeling angry is OK. Aggression, such as hitting, kicking, or yelling insults, hurts people, animals, or things.

Notice the warning signs

Your face might get hot, your fists might tighten, or your voice might grow louder. Anger can grow, shrink, or pass. An outburst is not something that has to happen next.

Try four steps:

1. Stop: pause before acting.
2. Breathe: take several slow breaths.
3. Think: ask, “What is wrong? What could help?”
4. Choose: use words, take a safe break, or ask for help.

You can walk, stretch, squeeze a soft ball, draw, or sit quietly. These give you time to settle without hurting anyone.

Work through an angry moment

Carlos's sister changes the TV channel during his show. His face feels hot. He says, “I need a minute,” and walks to the kitchen. After five slow breaths, he can think about what he wants.

He goes back and asks, “Can you wait 10 minutes until my show ends?”

An I-statement helps you explain a problem clearly. It has three parts: “I feel … when … because …” You can add a request.

For example: “I feel angry when you take my markers because I need them for my picture. Please ask first.” Name what happened instead of attacking the person.

Repair hurt you caused

If you shouted at someone, calm down and own your action. Try, “I'm sorry I yelled. Next time I'll take a break before we talk.” Then follow your plan.

Ignoring a problem leaves it waiting. Once calm, talk about what still needs changing. If anger often feels too hard to handle, ask a trusted adult to help you make a plan.

A setback is something that goes wrong on the way to a goal. You might lose a race or not make a team. Disappointment is the feeling when something you hoped for does not happen.

Resilience means coping with hard times and finding a way forward. You can cry, feel upset, and still be resilient. Help from other people is part of bouncing back.

Make your next step small

1. Name and accept the feeling.
2. Care for yourself with rest, calming, or a talk.
3. Look for something you can learn.
4. Make a small plan.
5. Try again or choose a new goal.

Aisha is not chosen for the choir. She feels disappointed and cries at home. She talks to her mom. The next day, she asks the music teacher what she could practice. She joins a singing club and plans to try out next year.

She cannot change the choir's choice. She can choose how to keep singing and get help learning.

A mistake is information

When a bike wobbles, you learn where to practice balancing. When a math answer is wrong, you can ask which step needs fixing. A mistake is about something you tried. It does not describe everything about you.

Try adding “yet”: “I can't do long division yet.” Then choose a useful kind of practice or ask someone to show you. The word helps when it leads to an action.

Remembering your strengths and earlier hard moments can help. You might think, “Learning to swim was hard too. Practice and help made a difference.”

Success brings feelings as well. You can feel proud of your effort and excited about a win. Be kind to the people who lost. A “Good game” or a friendly handshake can show respect. You can enjoy doing well without putting someone else down.

A friend is someone you like and trust who likes you back. You enjoy time together. Good friends listen, share, take turns, and care about each other's feelings.

What healthy friendship feels like

In a healthy friendship, you feel safe and able to be yourself most of the time. Both people get a say. Both can say no and have other friends.

Friends do not need to like every same thing. One might enjoy soccer while another enjoys drawing. You can take turns choosing an activity or find something you both like.

Pay attention if someone often puts you down, pressures you, or says, “I won't be your friend unless you do this.” Repeatedly leaving you out on purpose is another warning sign. Talk with a trusted adult about what is happening.

Start with a small hello

Making friends takes time. Try these steps:

1. Notice someone who enjoys an activity you like.
2. Say hello and ask a question about it.
3. Listen to the answer.
4. Invite them to join you, or ask to join in.

You might say, “What are you building?” or “Would you like to play tag with us?” If one try does not lead to a friendship, you can try another time or meet someone through a club.

Keep caring as a friendship grows. Remember what matters to your friend. Cheer when something goes well. Say sorry when you hurt them. Keep private things private, unless a secret would leave someone unsafe.

Include others and notice loneliness

Everyone deserves to belong. You can offer a seat or invite someone into a game. Include people who look, speak, live, or play differently from you.

Loneliness means feeling without the connection you want. It can happen even in a crowd. Reach out to someone, try an activity with others, or spend time with family. If loneliness lasts, tell a trusted adult.

Friendships can change when people move or find new interests. Feeling sad about that is OK. You can care about an old friend and make new friends too.

Even good friends disagree. A fallout is a time when friends are upset with each other. You can often repair it with calm talk and a fair solution.

Give both people a turn

1. Cool down first.
2. Find a calm, private moment to talk.
3. Explain your part with an I-statement.
4. Listen without interrupting.
5. Say sorry for hurt you caused.
6. Agree on a solution fair to both.
7. Let the argument go and try the plan.

Give your friend your attention while they talk. You can repeat back what you heard: “So you felt left out because we didn't wait?” This helps you check that you understood.

Share the choice

Emma and Zoe both want to be captain in gym. Zoe grabs the captain's band. Emma says, “I feel upset because I wanted a turn too.” Zoe listens and apologizes for grabbing it.

They agree that Zoe will be captain today and Emma next time. Both get a turn. This is a compromise: each gives a little so both get something.

Other compromises include splitting the time or choosing a third idea you both like. A plan that gives one person every turn is not fair to both.

Say sorry and mean it

A real apology names what you did and says sorry. It also explains what you will do differently. Try, “I'm sorry I laughed when you fell. That was unkind. I'll check that you're OK next time.”

“Sorry, but you started it” pushes the blame onto the other person. Own your action even if you are still upset about theirs.

Forgiving means letting go of staying angry, little by little. It can take time, even without an apology. Forgiving does not make the hurt OK. You do not have to trust someone again or accept repeated hurt.

If you cannot reach a fair plan together, ask a teacher, parent, or school counselor to help you talk.

Bullying means hurting someone on purpose, repeatedly or with a chance it will happen again, while having more power. The person being hurt finds it hard to make it stop.

Look for three signs

All three signs matter:

• The hurt is on purpose.
• It happens again and again, or is likely to happen again.
• There is unequal power.

Power can come from size, age, popularity, or being part of a group. A child can have more power even without being taller.

A group of older children takes Lily's snack every day. They laugh when she cries. It is deliberate, repeated, and hard for Lily to stop against the group. This is bullying.

Harm can take different forms

Physical bullying hurts a body or belongings, such as pushing or breaking things. Verbal bullying uses words, such as insults or threats. Social bullying hurts friendships or belonging, such as spreading rumors or repeatedly excluding someone on purpose.

Cyberbullying uses phones, computers, or games. Mean messages, fake accounts, and embarrassing pictures can be used to hurt someone. Online harm can spread quickly and keep reaching people after school.

Teasing and disagreements

Ben and Jay disagree about a swing turn, then make a plan. That is a conflict. Two friends laughing together about their silly socks may be friendly teasing. If one gets upset, the teasing needs to stop.

A single push or mean comment still matters. You can get help without deciding exactly what to call it.

Bullying can make someone scared, lonely, sad, or angry. It can affect sleep and schoolwork too. Being bullied is never the fault of the person being bullied.

If you are being bullied, move toward safety and a trusted adult. You can say “Stop. I don't like that” if it feels safe. You do not have to confront someone before getting help. Fighting back can put you in danger.

Tell someone who can help

Tell a parent, teacher, school counselor, or principal. Explain what happened, who was involved, where and when, and how often. Share what you remember, even if you cannot remember everything.

If the first adult does not help, tell another. Keep telling until someone helps. Adults at school have a duty to help stop bullying.

Reporting tries to protect someone or get help. Tattling tries to get someone in trouble over something small. Telling about harm or bullying is reporting.

When it happens online

• Do not reply with mean words.
• Save messages or take screenshots for an adult.
• Block the person and use the app's or game's report button.
• Tell a trusted adult and keep the messages until they see them.

Save evidence privately. Sharing a hurtful post with more children can spread the harm.

Someone posts an embarrassing photo of Tom with mean comments. Mia does not like or share it. She saves a screenshot, sends Tom a kind private message, and shows the evidence to a teacher.

Help without putting yourself in danger

A bystander is someone who sees or knows about bullying. You can refuse to laugh or join in. Get an adult, stand near the child if safe, or walk with them toward help. Be kind afterward: “Do you want to sit with us?”

Speak directly to the person causing harm only if it is safe. You can tell an adult for a friend who is scared to speak. You do not have to stop bullying alone.

If you have bullied someone, stop the hurtful actions. Say sorry, work to make things right, and ask an adult to help you change your behavior.

A trusted adult listens, takes you seriously, and helps keep you safe. They might be a caregiver, grandparent, teacher, school nurse, counselor, coach, or doctor.

Keep more than one helper in mind

Make a support network of trusted adults at home, school, and elsewhere. Try tracing your hand and adding one helper to each finger. Aim for five names so you have choices. If you can only think of one, start there and ask them to help build your list.

Ask for help when:

• A feeling is too big to handle alone.
• Worry or sadness keeps returning.
• Feelings interfere with sleep, eating, learning, or fun.
• Someone hurts you, bullies you, or makes you unsafe.
• Something online upsets you, or you are worried about a friend.

Begin with a few words

You could say, “Can I talk to you about something?” Then tell what happened and how you feel: “I've been worried since Grandpa got sick. I can't sleep.” Ask for what you need, such as time to talk or help making a plan.

If words are hard, write a note, draw, or bring a friend. If the adult is busy or does not help, tell another trusted adult. Keep telling until someone helps.

Secrets and safety

A safe surprise, like a party, is fun and will soon be shared. An unsafe secret makes you worried, scared, or uncomfortable. Someone might warn that you will be in trouble if you tell.

Always tell a trusted adult about an unsafe secret, even if you promised. Keeping someone safe matters more than keeping that promise.

If a friend shares something worrying, listen kindly. Say you are glad they told you. Encourage adult help, or tell an adult yourself. Big safety problems are for adults to help solve.

Children's helplines, doctors, and counselors can help outside home and school too. Ask a trusted adult how to reach support where you live. If someone is in danger right now, get an adult immediately or call your country's emergency number.

Change can bring several feelings at once. You might feel excited about a new class and worried about making friends. A change you did not choose can bring anger, sadness, confusion, or relief too.

Get ready for what you can

Big changes include moving, a new baby, parents separating, a friend leaving, or someone becoming ill. Ask what will happen next. Keep some familiar routines and talk with people who care about you.

Before middle school, you could visit the building or look at a map. Practice the route with an adult. Write down questions and find out who else is going. These steps help you prepare for the parts you can control.

If your parents separate, it is not your fault. Children do not cause the separation and cannot fix it. You can love both parents and tell a trusted adult how you feel.

Understand loss and grief

Loss means losing someone or something important. A friend moving away is a loss. So is a person or pet dying. Grief is the mix of feelings after a loss, especially a death.

Grief can bring sadness, anger, worry, guilt, confusion, numbness, or sometimes relief. You might feel tired or have trouble sleeping. Tell an adult about how your body feels too.

People grieve differently. Feelings can come in waves: you might play happily, then suddenly feel sad when a song reminds you of someone. Having fun does not mean you have stopped caring.

Make room for memories and company

You could draw a memory, make a memory box, ask questions, or tell stories about the person or pet. Cry when you need to. Keep helpful routines and spend time with caring people.

If your friend is grieving, you do not need perfect words. You can say, “I'm sorry,” listen, and include them in an activity. Let them choose whether they want to talk or have quiet company.

Your health includes your body, thoughts, feelings, and relationships. These parts affect each other. Being tired can make a disagreement harder. Caring company can help during a sad day.

Know the parts of health

Physical health is about your body. Mental health is about your thoughts and feelings. Social health is about getting along with other people. Everyone has all these parts of health.

Mental wellbeing means feeling able to cope with daily ups and downs, enjoy things, connect with others, and feel good about yourself. It changes from day to day. You do not have to feel happy every moment.

Build helpful habits

Children ages 6–12 need about 9–12 hours of sleep per 24 hours. A regular bedtime helps make room for sleep. Other helpful habits include:

• Move your body and spend time outdoors.
• Eat healthy food and drink water.
• Make time for play, hobbies, family, and friends.
• Take breaks from screens.
• Help someone and notice things you are thankful for.

Before bed, you could name three good things from your day. They can be small, such as a funny story or someone saving you a seat.

Mateo has been gaming late and sleeping about seven hours. He feels grumpy and rarely goes outside. He talks with his dad. They plan an earlier screen cutoff and time at the park. Mateo tries the plan and checks how he feels over the next few days.

Know when you need more support

Worry and sadness happen to everyone sometimes. Use your coping tools and talk to caring people. Ask for extra help when feelings are very strong, keep returning, last for weeks, or make daily life harder.

You do not need to wait weeks if you are struggling now. Tell a trusted adult about trouble eating, sleeping, learning, or spending time with friends. They can help arrange support from a doctor or counselor. You can care for your daily habits and ask for help at the same time.